Having procured Ground Passes for the Thursday evening session of the Australian Open, we entered the gates with the intent of weaseling our way into tickets in Rod Laver Arena upon learning the featured match for the evening was Andy Roddick vs. Lleyton Hewitt. Just so happened we lucked our way into a meeting with a few ladies in possession of excess tickets willing to part with them at a discounted rate.
We were in, but needed to eat. Oddly, food was hard to come by and we ended up consuming ham, if you apply the loosest boundaries to the definition of ham. They were hot dogs, and I say that with the loosest interpretation of the definition of a hot dog. Somehow bun, "meat", and tomato sauce (no "ketchup" here) were all entirely without flavor. Though samples should have been preserved for laboratory analysis of this phenomenon, said dogs were housed in order to enter the arena and stave off starvation for the duration of the matches ("Ham" OD - 1).
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| Tbulls at the Aussie Open. Wind off Antarctica on this night. |
Having entered the arena, we were excited to see the Fanatics in attendance. The Fanatics are a group of Aussies that travel the world in support of Australian sport. They ham it up for the crowd in support of their fellow countrymen. We were introduced to them at the President's Cup, and they were in attendance this evening as both matches for the evening featured an Aussie. If you see a group of people in ridiculous yellow and green outfits chanting at an event involving Australians, that's them. They provide great comic relief, their enthusiasm is contagious, and this crew had their moments. During the Hewitt/Roddick warm-ups, they'd give a deep grunt when Hewitt hit the ball, then a girly squeal when Roddick hit the ball. But a creative director was needed for this band of merry men when it came to match play. They had about four chants they cycled through between nearly ever point of both matches. Entertaining at first, but the act wore thin (Ham OD - 2).
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| The Fanatics |
The first match of the evening was Jelena Dokic (Aussie) vs. Marion Bartoli. Never heard of Bartoli, but she destroyed Dokic. What was entertaining was Bartoli had her own ham it up sessions between points behind the baseline. She'd face the back wall and hop around, maybe take a few very dramatic forehand and backhand swings, a full on serve rep thrown in every now and then. At first it was hilarious. As the match wore on and she was clearly dominating her opponent, it grew ponderous (Ham OD - 3). I can't say I blame her for holding her own mini imaginary match with herself to maintain focus throughout this drubbing. Her imaginary opponent appeared formidable.
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| Dokic vs. Bartoli |
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| Bartoli vs. The Great Gazoo? |
Then it was on to the feature match. It should be noted that Aussies have a love-hate relationship with Hewitt. They support their own and he was brilliant early in his career, but his antics are considered un-stralian* by many. Whether you like him or not, you have to admire the guts he plays with every time out on the court. Particularly in this era when $100 million superstars mail it in even in the Finals (coughLebroncough). But of course we were pulling for Roddick. And he was disappointingly sluggish from the start. Rumor has it he came into the match recovering from a tweaked hamstring and it showed. He won the first set on his serve, but he couldn't muster any winners and repeatedly got torched by Hewitt anticipating his run around forehand down the line following epic slice backhand cross-court rallies. He tried to switch his game up by coming to the net, but never got beyond no man's land before Hewitt put it at his feet or blew it by him. Then he took an awkward fall early in the second set, apparently re-injuring the hamstring, and the writing was on the wall. Though my inner Nostradamus prophesied this match wasn't going the distance a game following the injury timeout, I say "apparently re-injuring" because his serve is reliant on an explosive leg maneuver and he maintained pace on his serve throughout. He played injured the remainder of the 2nd and 3rd sets, losing both, and then called it quits. Hamstrung (Ham OD - 4).
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| Hewitt vs. Roddick |
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| Roddick with Injured Hammie |
*The "Au" in Australia and Australian is sort of silent to Australians. Sort of because the "Au" is represented by a pause where it is said, but not vocalized.
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